We all dread it, the terrible twos. The terrible two does not simply begin at the age of two. Instead, it slowly manifests itself once your child begins to do independent things such as walking and talking. The ugliness rears its head fully at the age of two and does not reseed from hence which it came until at least the age of four.
We all know the telltale signs of the terrible two monster. It may deceive you with a sweet smile and warm embrace, but ultimately it will emerge from its slumber, ready to wreak new havoc upon all who crosses its path. Only those who have experienced the magnitude of attitude that a two year old can bring would truly understand.
Unfortunately, there is no cure for the terrible twos. It is just something that all parents have to endure. Sure, every child is different and some of you may get lucky by having a child with a mild case of the terrible twos.
You would think that after having survived three children going through the terrible twos, it would be a piece of cake the fourth time around, but you would be wrong. My youngest daughter has brought some new things to the game. Like how she loves to run away and usually straight into the road. Or how she defiantly refuses to do anything you ask of her. Well played little one. Well played. She must have known that by now I would already know the usual tricks.
What makes it all more difficult is that my two year old has the sweetest smile you have ever seen. She likes to seduce me into thinking that she will be sweet with that smile. As soon as I give in, her true colors begin to shine.
Many times my terrible two will ask for something simple, like a snack or a specific video online, and the moment you give it to her, she will become instantly insulted by this gesture and loudly tell you this. It is hard to swim in a sea that is constantly changing its current. I find myself drowning a little on occasions. But, I spit out the water and keep on treading water.
Another unfortunate trait of a terrible two is this love of repetition. They will find something they love and want to share it with the world as loud and as many times as possible. This includes in the car and at the store too. You will begin to sing the songs of their favorite show or movie as you fall asleep or even wake up in the mornings. Usually, once you have fully lost your sanity and have committed to just embracing the beloved show or movie, your terrible two has instantly decided they no longer want to watch it anymore. Then the cycle starts again. Don’t worry, this too shall pass, like all phases do.
Being in public with your terrible two can be a challenge as well. This can be a 50/50 chance of a catastrophe occurring. Some days I get lucky as my terrible two is completely satisfied to sit in the cart and either watch a video or observe people. Other times she is dissatisfied with everything you have packed to entertain her. That is when she will become an escape artist and get out of the seatbelt and lunge towards me. I will ultimately have to free her from the safety of the cart. This means she will grab things and then yell when she is told to put it back. Again, I told you that my youngest has perfected the craft of being the ultimate terrible two.
Her best maneuver is to get me to agree to something to be added to the cart, but then grab something else off the shelf when we are in the check out line. If I do not spot this quickly, she will either try to open said item or take it with her without paying. That is not a path I want her to go down by any means. All of this always occurs with multiple people looking at me with judging eyes. Have they never had children or have they already forgotten what it is like to have a terrible two? Or maybe they were one of the lucky ones to have a case of mild terrible twos with their children. Either way, they look as if I am ultimately to blame for all of my child’s actions.
At the end of the day, I have to remind myself that the terrible twos is just a phase that she will grow out of just like all of my other children. Even with all that being said, my love for my little terrible two grows daily.
Writing In The Deep 