Friday Fictioneers – April 4, 2018 – photo by Dale Rogerson
Abduction
“Don’t let go of my hand or you may get lost.”
My hands were so little and the crowd of holiday shoppers were pushing against us like the crashing of waves. It should have been no surprise that I couldn’t hold on. I was pushed down current, further and further away from my mother. She couldn’t see which direction I went in, but I could see the panic look in her eyes.
Later a nice woman found me crying on the outskirts of the madness. Thinking she was taking me to my mother, I followed her to her car.
Writing In The Deep 
31 responses to “Flash Fiction – Abduction”
Oh no! Every parent’s worst nightmare from the POV of the child. Chilling.
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Many times in those situations we focus on how the parent feels. It is also important to focus on how the child would feel.
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As you say, a nightmare for any parent. I just can’t imagine. Reminds me of a scene in a book called The Girl in the Red Coat, similarly written from the child’s perspective. Just chilling
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Thank you. I haven’t read that one. It may have to be my next read.
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It is very good and doesn’t quite go where you imagine it will. My pleasure
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Chilling story.
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Thank you
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So easy to steal innocence, isn’t it? Great portrayal of that.
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Thank you. It is sad how people take advantage of innocence.
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Scary probability!!
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Very much so
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As a parent of a couple of toddlers this is absolutely terrifying!
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I have 4 kids and this scares me. My 2 year old constantly wants to run free in public.
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My daughter likes to be very independent. The thought of this scares me. I have my eyes on her at all times.
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Really great story about a very important topic. Very very sad.
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Thank you.
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Oh oh, doesn’t sound like this is leading anywhere good…
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Child abductions are a scary thing.
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very
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Ooooo, that was a creepy ending.
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My husband said the same thing when he read it. We have a two year old who wants to be independent in public and run free. I always worry that she will get lost and never seen again.
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Your story is a good take on the prompt. Writing it from the child’s pov was an excellent idea.
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Thank you. I like to look at things in a different way.
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I don’t have kids, but this almost made my heart stop. Great writing, chilling and effective last line.
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Thank you. I am always surprised by how people connect with my writing. It is good to know that someone without experience in parenting can feel the panic of the story.
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It’s because of good writing (and plenty of imagination). 🙂
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Oh what a nightmare! Why do I get a feeling that the story is leading somewhere not so good. I hope the mother and the child unite in the end.
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We can only hope it would end happy.
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There is no happy ending to this horrendous kind of situation. So well-written, but it made me feel sick–both for the parents and for the child.
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Thank you. I love how 99 words can provoke such feelings when done right.
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Hell!
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