Flash Fiction – Recent Incident

“Due to the recent incident involving Cheez-Its, Students may no longer eat crackers in class.” Principal Lewis said over the intercom.

By that point, everyone knew what had happened last week in Mr. Branch’s class. I don’t know of anyone who wouldn’t know by this point. It all started last Wednesday when Johnny walked into class late. This was normal for him, but this time he had a big box of Cheez-Its under his arm and a huge smile on his face. Mr. Branch didn’t even react and kept talking about the history of our government. 

Johnny sat at his desk in the back of the room and began to open his box. I know all of this because I sat next to him and watched the whole thing. Without any concern at all, he loudly opened the bag inside of the box and began to crush every single Cheez-It. That was when Mr. Branch stopped teaching and like a hawk stalked his prey. He marched to the back of the classroom and stood right next to Johnny’s desk.

“Young man, what on God’s green earth are you doing?”

Johnny said nothing and continued to crunch up his large snack.

“Jonathan Brooks! I know you hear me!” Mr. Branch was really starting to get upset by this point.

Johnny said nothing until every Cheez-It was now reduced to dust.  As soon as Mr. Branch opened his mouth to yell at him, Johnny quickly grabbed a big handful of cheese dust and blew it directly into Mr. Branch’s face. The whole class gasped and held their breath. Mr. Branch coughed loudly breaking the silence. With a face full of cheese dust, Mr. Branch could only manage to choke out, “GET OUT!” and point at the door.

Noone ever saw Johnny after that, and Mr. Branch now has a very strict no food policy.  I think we can all agree that after what Johnny did last Wednesday has forever changed the food policy in all classrooms. I guess we will all have to just be hungry until lunch from now on.


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